Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
