Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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