In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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