but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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