yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Even my vagina gasped.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
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