gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
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