By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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