where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize