It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
