Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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