i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
