the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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