Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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