Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
whose parrot is this?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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