i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
