every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
