If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I think a kid would responsible me up
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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