i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
