yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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