Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
