haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
