No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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