All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
