If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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