Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
