Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Randomize
