i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
