is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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