i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Randomize
