Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
