you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
