just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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