He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He better not be in your backpack
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
