i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
