he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
