He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
