well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
