The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
