I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
