i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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