people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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