im drinking this country out of the recession.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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