summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
