We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
