Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
