I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize