I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
