i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Mom said you looked used
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
