Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
