Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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