This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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