Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
