This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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