I love black thongs
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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