OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
