i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
