I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
