hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
