I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
