"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
