Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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