You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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