Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
She's like a pop up book from hell.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
