he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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