I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
