Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
