I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
