that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
PANTIES FOUND
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